hipgrandma's Cancer Blog
October 16, 2006
| Let the games begin | Views: 62 |
Today is the day—I start radiation at 2pm today and then chemo at 3pm tomorrow. I have suffered mightily from anxiety in the last couple weeks, but now it has all subsided. No anxiety attacks since Saturday. I’m not sure if I’ve come to peace with all this or if I’m in walking/talking shock.
This morning when Dan and I walked Ruby, everything was gloriously beautiful. It was our first morning with temps in the 70’s (!), the sunrise over Biscayne Bay was picture perfect, the birds on the islands were waking and flying off for their day—unbelievably beautiful. Last week we saw dolphins on our morning walk, right next to the seawall, within touching distance. And recently my tiny grandson called my attention to a bayside “dead” royal palm tree that is getting new growth one year after apparently succumbing to Hurricane Wilma. Resurrection is possible.
My initial diagnosis of cancer (and my hysterectomy) was one week after said Wilma. It seemed to me that the outside (our yard and neighborhood) reflected the inside (of my body)—totally wrecked and irredeemable. Much of the landscape was lost forever, but many trees, bushes and plants that appeared dead did come back in the months following the storm. This palm tree surprised me, though, as it seemed to be dead for an entire year. Hope springs eternal.
So why am I starting radiation and chemo one year later? Well,of course, it is a long story. The initial surgery was botched—my “world famous” gynecologic oncologist didn’t think I had cancer and so did not remove any lymph nodes and left one ovary. When the pathology report came back positive, I was in a bad position, hence a change of doctor and another surgery for staging and ovary removal. This staging surgery, done in January, came back on clear on the lymph nodes, and I was to have NFT (no further treatment). However, there was yet another surprise in store—by June we found out that there was a troubling lymph node. My doctor was sure this was not cancer since the node in question was NOT in the transmission path of endometrial cancer. I always try to tell my doctors to expect the unusual with me but they rarely are able to listen. In any case, he did the right thing and ordered a pet scan. The insurance company did the wrong thing and fought us on the pet scan for THREE months. Finally we paid cash for the test and it was positive. Dr. still thought it was a false positive since he was so sure that my particular cancer couldn’t travel to this particular location. Needle biopsy and BINGO —this node (precaval) is super hot. I traveled to Sloan-Kettering for a surgical consult as (naturally) this node is in a very difficult location for removal. They said inoperable due to the location and the fact that the node has wrapped itself around the vena cava. SK recommended “concomitant” chemo and radiation, and so that is what I am starting today.
I am not going into this process alone. I have my wonderful family—husband Dan, daughter Ariella, son Orion, son-in-law Jeff, and GRANDSON Kai. Dan is filling me full of acupuncture needles and Chinese herbs to stave off the worst of the side effects and I have faith that East and West will work well together. Orion, of course, supplies me with the herbs, prepared with tremendous amounts of TLC. Ariella is my constant friend and purveyor of purple hair. Jeff gives me those crucially important LBG treatments. And Kai, dear Kai, brings me laughter and a soaring heart.
And so I begin my journey . . .
na mo kuan shih yin pu sa
01.09.07 - 
Thanks for your support -
Welcome Jane! Sounds like you have had a rough year. I will be thinking of you today and tomorrow as you start your treatment. Contact me if you have any questions or need anything. Thanks, Jill
Good luck.
who was your world famous first doctor??