hipgrandma's Cancer Blog
November 28, 2006
| gratitude time again | Views: 117 |
Later today I will be having a fun few hours of chemo but, in spite of that, or maybe because of it, I want to take a few moments to dwell on the good stuff, and tell you (again) some of the many things that I am grateful for.
First of all, I want to say a million thanks to those who have written me inspirational and sometimes tearjerking words of encouragement. I love this blog because not only do I get to blather on and on about my shit, I also get the divine comments, and they mean a lot to me.
Thanks, Jill, for providing the blog site and all your encouragement.
Ariella has written me the loveliest notes—did you see that my daughter said I am her best friend and how great I look as a baldy? Those are words to touch my heart. Ariella provides me with tons and tons of Kai therapy, without which I could not survive. And she is my bald fashion consultant, helping me feel that I can poke my head outside the front door.
Kai is so amazing—17 months old and already writing kind and supportive words to his grandma. Kai, without you, I’d have to call myself fat-fifty-two-year-old instead of hipgrandma.
My cuzz Bucky, with whom I have weird and not very funny cancer symmetry—we both finished radiation last Wed. Thanks for the kind and always amazingly witty words of encouragement.
Hey, speaking of cancer pals, I’ve got two online friends who have given me great support. There’s Tanya (she’s got a blog here, too, check it out) who is a beautiful young woman who has been “doing” chemo with me—we both have #3 today. Her emails and comments make me cry. And Susan, who comments briefly here but also writes me with solid and much appreciated support. Her emails make me laugh (well, that one yesterday sure did)! I’m really grateful for these two e-friends.
Maya, thanks for reading and saying such sweet things. I’m thinking about you and Lil Bean!
My nephew Jesse (a 17 year old) says I look majestic! I don’t know about that, but I do know that he is exceptionally fine writer. Jesse, it was so great to see you and Shaun, and please come visit anytime!
Jesse’s mom, Dana, is not a computer type, so she wrote me a very long handwritten letter. I sure can see where Jesse gets some of his talent. Dana, your heartfelt words were so amazing that last night Dan read the letter to me aloud to help calm my heart for getting to sleep on the pre-chemo night. Dana is the rare, rare being who knows EXACTLY all the right things to say to someone going through this shit.
I had an “anonymous” post and I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it was my son-in-law Jeff. Jeff is supportive in so many ways that you might never expect a son-in-law to be. I’m always grateful for his TLC.
Leslie, I’m not going to write your last name again! Thanks for your comments on the blog and also for the many, many kind and supportive emails, not to mention incredibly thoughtful get-well gifts and the greatest gift of all—your time and expertise, coming down here from Boca to give me moxa treatments. What a real friend you are.
Another blessed caregiver is my yoga teacher, Mia. She comes to the house and gives me private sessions of Iyengar restorative yoga, which is something I recommend to anyone going through stressful times. She was just here and we did our session in the yard—hell was converted to heaven—sheer bliss. She has been a lifesaver. Namaste, Mia.
Speaking of email correspondents, Donna writes me (almost) every day. She is such a amazing support—I always know she is there to lean on, and, sadly, share her expertise regarding cancer treatment, since she’s been through it, too. Not to mention that she’s sent me flowers and organic produce on those lovely chemo days. I can’t wait for their visit over the holidays (counting the days, hours and minutes).
Joiwind is another friend who sends me supportive emails and I so appreciate that.
Ellen sends me emails and cards and presents and has visited me during chemo, bearing gifts. Visitors during chemo are very welcome and appreciated!
Orion, my baby (26 years old), always comes during chemo and helps us get back out to the car with all the stuff I insist on bringing along. Before the hospital, he comes by the house to take Ruby for a walk and feed the animals. Those things are very much appreciated on chemo day, but he’s there EVERYDAY for me. He picks things up at the store, drives his dad to work, comes to entertain Ruby, carries a big share of responsibilities at work so that Dan can be here for me (oh, believe me, I am well aware of this), and too many other things to mention here, although I would like to tell you that he bought me a gold and diamond “#1 Mom” charm for my charm bracelet, and I want EVERYONE to know that.
And Dan. There are no words to express how I feel about all the things that my beloved is to me. Husband, lover, best friend, home health caretaker, acupuncturist, herbalist, massage therapist, doctor’s appts maker, therapeutic cook, shopper, dish washer, launderer, pet care taker, gift buyer, entertainment coordinator, kind and loving father to our children, and most spoiling grandfather of all time. Just in these last two months he has been with me through TWO surgeries, 30 radiation treatments, 3 chemos (including today), and 10 doctor’s visits, made innumerable phone calls to coordinate my medical care, filled prescriptions, gone to the office for herbs at 3am, cared for me through neuralgia, neutropenia, rashes, hives, fatigue, emotional meltdowns (that means crying, which is the worst thing of all for him), not to mention one zillion acupuncture treatments. And, believe me, that’s only scratching the surface.
As Dana said in her letter (I’m paraphrasing), “Fucking cancer . . . (you) don’t deserve this . . . grueling, disabling treatment . . . harsh and overwhelming . . . but imagine the lonely tortured souls out there going through similar circumstances all by themselves . . .” Yes, Dana, you are SO right—I truly do know that I AM BLESSED.
01.09.07 - 
Thanks for your support -
Jane – What a beautiful post. We will be thinking of you in your 3rd round of chemo. Halfway there!
mom!
kai, jeff and i are here for you forever!
love, ariella
Grandma..
Thanks for being the hippest, sweetest, smartest,most fun and interesting grandma in all the land. I cant wait for you to be feeling better so that we can go on some cool adventures together!
Love, your grandson,
Kai Phoenix
Jane,
You hold me up, and I’m so glad to know that I have made a difference for you as well. How wonderful it is to have each other, so many miles apart, yet in so many ways so connected. We have friends in Miami, maybe some day we’ll meet and I will introduce our child-in-waiting to you.
Cancer sucks, but some amazing things have come from this, and meeting you is one of them.